advice to NEw parents

When my youngest went off to college, I mooned around the house looking at the neatly made beds in empty bedrooms, the bulletin boards of childhood triumphs, the pictures on the refrigerator of toddlers on shoulders, and long-ago Halloweens. I mourned the phase of my life that was irrevocably over. I cried. A lot. But here was the place of solace I finally landed: I had been (mostly) so vitally present and awake during my kids’ childhoods. Dozens of times as beautiful, funny, or profane moments transpired, I reminded myself “be here now”, drink this in; it won’t last forever. I had the good fortune to parent little kids in the time before cell phones. On playgrounds, at parks, walking, reading, I was just with them, no distractions. I am immensely grateful for that. Mary Oliver says these are the instructions for life: “Pay attention, be astonished, talk about it”.  Once you’re paying attention, the other two parts come easily. Do yourself a favor: Be present. Pay attention.